November 25, 2005

Sexual harassment - the other side

One of the main reasons that make a professional stay in the same job is the notice period that he will have to serve if he opts to quit. Imagine sitting in your desk imagining about your next job when you're asked to work on some boring project. I believe every company has such projects exclusively reserved for those employees serving their notice period. Such projects typically require as much effort as a yukozona or a sumo wrestler would require crushing a mosquito to death. But if you're bent upon stretching it to 30 days, you could make use of an illiterate blind guy without his 2 limbs to work on the coding part.

But then every thing has its own benefits. Shouldn't we be eternal optimists? An optimist is a person who likes the donut for its smell and taste while a pessimist looks at the hole in it. The guy in American Pie, who put the innocent donut to good use, must be an opportunist.

Lets get back to the issue on hand.

There are many ways to get out of the company soon. Some of them are
1. Damaging company's resource(s).
Although this might seem to be the easiest way out, it has its own repercussions. You might get into legal issues or if you had damaged some sensitive server, you could be 'treated' by the company employed goondas.

2. Email the CEO telling him that he doesn't have the balls to fire you.
Again, a very effective method to make a quick exit. The CEO would certainly fire you to show his authority over you. But the problem is that you'd soon become the laughing stock of the entire company. The news will reach the other companies (courtesy: Free pool). The CEO will invariably point you as an example when he talks to new recruits.

3. You can be highly unproductive.
Imagine you're given a dead line tomorrow and you go to your Project Manager and coolly ask him/her to go with you for a cup of tea. Although a lot of guys have been show the door for doing it, you stand the risk of being sent to training sessions for attitude change! The chances are more if you work for big companies where employees are transported into the company using trucks. Worse still, what would you do if your PM agrees to go with you for a cup of tea ;)

Sexual harassment, therefore, seems to be the only way to a safe and quick exit. Its one method that's hassle free and time tested. Perhaps, Phaneesh murthy only wanted to join Iflex a little early. But then, what if the person whom you harass sexually co-operates! Isn't it a win-win situation anyway ?;)