March 30, 2005

Poetry - let me teach you.

For some strange reason, I am interested in poetry these days. Among other things, Men should learn cooking and poetry - Kitchen is the shortest way to bedroom and I think poetry comes next. I am aware that the art of writing poems is confined to people who would look at an apple and say

A worm in an apple might seem bad
But half a worm in an apple is really sad!

The odds were against me when I decided to become a poet; like everyone else I would grab the apple and devour it when I see it. Poetry would be the last thing to come to my mind.
I checked out websites that encourage young ‘poets’. This is what a buff had written about love

I love you with a permanence
That endures the passing years.
I love you with a joyfulness
That subdues all doubts and fears.
I love you with an honesty
That was born within my heart.
I love you with the calm belief

I badly need the rules to write a poem. I thought the last word of each line must rhyme with the pervious one, but since that lousy thing had qualified, I propose the following as my poem.

FOR i = 1 TO n
FOR k = i TO n
IF (a(i) > a(k)) THEN SWAP a(i), a(k)

FOR j = 1 TO n
PRINT a(j)

Next i

The above one has three words per line, it’s got a perfect meaning to convey (sorts numbers). It’s well structured. Since I’ve graduated to the status of an established poet, here’s my advice to the budding ones.

1. Write an essay about anything you feel like.
2. Transfer it to your computer.
3. Press the enter key at every third or fourth word.
4. You have a good poem.
5. Upload it to and call yourself a poet.

March 25, 2005


Are you 40 yrs or older? Don’t read this post, you may not like it. Why are 40+ oldies so rigid in their thinking? They’ve a set regime in life which will NOT be broken for any reason. The following is how a 40+ will handle different situations.

Student: Madam, I got the print out. It looks neat.
40+: No, write it into an observation, draw figures, get my signature and I will affix the wax seal.

Shopkeeper: …but sir, this computer is very fast and costs you slightly more than what you ask for.
40+: No. Give me X486 with a black n white monitor and a dot matrix printer. You cannot cheat me.

Wife: Honey I am feeling romantic.
40+: Hey! How come? It’s not night yet.

March 15, 2005

Godly woes

“Alas I am here. Wake up; your prayers have been answered. I am here not just to honour your prayers, but also to tell you what I feel about my devotees who go overboard at times. I chose you because you are the only rational soul I could find.

Firstly, why on earth do people swarm on Saturdays to see me? I might not have a family, but I need the weekends for myself. How could Saturday, which comes every week on a Christian calendar, be of any relevance to a Hindu like me? Why cant people regulate themselves? It doesn’t make sense to block the traffic and cause inconvenience to others.

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Who spread the malicious rumour that I like butter? I detest it. I hate people applying a big ball of butter on my mouth especially when the butter smells cheap. Most of it is anyway taken away by the priests, and I am left with a thin layer of butter around my mouth, which only invites flies and mosquitoes. I hate to see my already swollen mouth grow further in size with mosquito bites.

...and why do my followers adorn me with vada mala? No one, not even God, can gobble up more than a dozen vadas, however tasty they are. Since I am old now, I have to worry about Gastro problems. Kindly ask men to regulate themselves- be it devotion, love, work or any other activity for moderation is the mantra for happy life."

As told by Jai Veer Hanuman in my dreams.

March 07, 2005

Swami Vivekananda's Words of Wisdom

  • Mere external appearance or a person’s speech or mannerisms are only fringes of one’s personality.
  • Don’t become happy with pleasurable events, and miserable with adverse circumstances.
  • Go on doing good, thinking holy thoughts continuously, which is the only way to suppress base impressions.
  • The personality of a man is two-thirds while his intellect, and his words are but one-third.
  • Pleasure is not the Goal of man, but knowledge.
  • Don’t desire, for what you desire you get, and with it comes terrible bondage.
  • Each time we suppress hatred, or a feeling of anger. It is so much good energy stored up in our favour; that piece of energy will be converted into higher powers.
  • Fight on bravely! Life is short! Give it up to a great cause.
  • When we are alone responsible, then we shall rise to our highest and best.
  • He, who always speculates as to what awaits him in future, accomplishes nothing whatsoever.
  • The man who works through freedom and love for work cares nothing for results.
  • We shall find that helping others is only helping ourselves; the sun takes up water from the ocean, to return it in showers.
  • Unselfishness will bring success; the degree of unselfishness marks the degree of success everywhere.
  • Feel, my children feel; feel for the poor, the ignorant, the downtrodden; feel till the heart stops and the brain reels and you think you will go mad.
  • Cowards never win victories.
  • Weak men, when they lose everything and feel themselves weak, try all sorts of uncanny methods of making money, and come to astrology.
  • When you came to this world, the world rejoiced and you cried; now live your life doing such acts that when you leave this world, the world will cry for you and you will leave it laughing.
  • The great benefit in this life is struggle. If there is any road to Heaven, it is through Hell.
  • Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life -think of it, dream of it, and live on that idea.
  • Regular breathing puts the body in a harmonious condition; it improves your concentration.
  • When you have acquired the feeling of non-attachment, there will then be neither good nor evil to you. It is only selfishness that causes the difference between good and evil.
    --------- Swami Vivekananda

March 03, 2005


How do you feel when your project reviewer listens to your lecture for half-an hour and says “Yawn..So where are the graphs to prove it?” Most of them are unmindful of the amount of hard-work that had gone into your project. They certainly don’t understand that not all projects need graphs.


Such people care more for the letter than for the spirit of rules n regulations. I am not going to crib about it anyway. If all they want is a graph, so be it. I have presented some readymade graphs that can be conveniently added to your project – you don’t need to pay royalty to me. ;)

And don’t forget to add some nice symbols like dy/dx or O(n logn).Such things add to the ‘value’ of your project!